Linda Lusardi quits Emmerdale

Topless model turned actress Linda Lusardi has announced that she is to quit her role in the ITV soap Emmerdale after just seven months.

The 49-year old joined the show back in February, taking on the role of Carrie Nichols and adding some glamour to the fictional Yorkshire village.

The actress told the Sun: “I have had a wonderful time at Emmerdale. I became an actress to play different roles.

“I am looking forward to working on new projects in 2008.”

A source close to Linda denied that the decision came down to money but rather was a result of her professional ambitions.

She will carry on as Carrie until the end of the year, though how she leaves has not yet been revealed.

Next month, the teen classical music group All Angels will appear on the show, performing at the wedding of Kelly and Jimmy.

Tribe

Tribe is a BBC documentary series that charts explorer Bruce Parry’s life spending time with indigenous tribes of people across the globe. It is an anthropological study to see how the people live and how they are coping with an ever changing world.

Bruce Parry believes that the only way to get to know a tribe is to actually live with them. He spent a month with a family from the Penan Tribe. Only 200 of this tribe are left and they are nomadic people, living in the Malaysian state of Sarawak in Borneo. They are hunter gatherers and depend on the forest for their home, food, washing and drink water and medicines.

The Sarawak Government had given licences for about 70% of the forest to be logged (trees felled) and this was affecting the livelihood of the Penan. The Government were particularly sensitive about the filming of the Penan and Bruce entered the area under cover and in the hours of darkness. He was instantly accepted by the tribe as they thought he would change matters for them and they trusted the British. The Sarawak was once under British rule and looked after the Penan, and the people were glad to see that the British were back.

Bruce was taken in by a small family and he found out :

• how they ate fruit from the forest and prepared sago flour from mashing the pith of sago trees;
• how they constructed a new camp from tarpaulin and trees;
• how they tapped into a poison tree and take the latex without putting themselves at danger of being poisoned (the poison was placed on darts which were fired from blow pipes to hunt small animals such as squirrels and birds).

Bruce learned that the Penan are kind and gentle and have values around equality and acting as a team. Everyone worked together and there was no strong hierarchy or assignment of roles (people used their skills). When two wild boar were hunted, the meat was equally shared between the families and Bruce and his crew, with meticulous attention to ensure that all portions were the same. The Penan had their pets – dogs, cats, a monkey, a large bird, chickens and a rodent. Although natural hunters, they explained that their pets were not wild animals and would not kill them for food.

Bruce also learned the effect that the logging of trees was having on the Penan. The upper canopies of trees had largely gone, giving way to a secondary set of trees and a different micro-climate. Former clean streams were now muddy and could not be used for washing or drinking. Trees were logged, the land was stripped and burned and Acacia trees and Palms were planted. This was in response to the demand for palm oil (50% of palm oil comes from Malaysia).

During his 4 weeks with the tribe, Bruce had a visit from Penan elders (who had walked all day to meet him). They explained the effect of the logging on their life and asked him for advice on what to do. They said that the British had looked after them in the past. Although generally calm, the Penan became particularly passionate when talking about their forest.

On his last night, Bruce asked the tribe what it was that they wanted and the responses were focussed on being able to live freely on the forest. They were in favour of progress, but chopping down trees was not progress.

Tribe was a fascinating programme and showed how similar the Penan were to ourselves in their attitudes and beliefs. It left you wanting to help the Penan in obtaining full rights to live in the forest, but a little frustrated in not knowing how to help.

Street scoops ‘Top Soap’ award

Though both Eastenders and Coronation Street claimed five titles each at last night’s Inside Soap awards, it was the Manchester show that really came out on top.

Following months of strong storylines, Corrie was named Best Soap, as voted for by readers of the TV magazine.

Antony Cotton, part-time chat show host and the man behind the show’s camp barman Sean Tully was named as Best Actor, with young Lacey Turner who plays Albert Square’s troublesome teen Stacey Slater was voted the Best Actress.

The spoils were shared when it came to the more simple matter of physical attraction: Rob James-Collier, the Street’s cheeky chappy Liam Conner was found to be the sexiest male while Hollyoaks actress Roxanne McKee, who plays Louise Summers in the show was awarded the Sexiest Actress award.

Stephen Murray, the editor of Inside Soap said at the awards ceremony: “The race for ‘Best Soap’ was neck and neck until voting closed, which just proves what an outstanding year it’s been in soapland.”

Jack P Shepherd’s David Platt, who has been making the life of his Corrie mother, Gail, a misery over the past year, was named as the Best Bad Boy.

Doc Martin

Doc Martin is set in the hamlet of Portwenn, close to Port Isacc in North Cornwall, and has just started a new series. Dr. Martin Ellingham is the local GP and is played by Martin Clunes. He is known as Doc Martin by the locals and is an unusual doctor in that he does not like patients. He has a terrible bedside manner, is rude, obnoxious and can not stand the sight of blood.

Louisa is the headmistress of the local school and is his on/off love interest. She faints when outdoors, whilst teaching her class and the concerned doctor thinks she is anaemic. Because of the history between them, Louisa is not comfortable to answer questions of a personal nature and is considering changing her GP.

A local dinner lady, Alison Lane, brings in her daughter, Delph, for a consultation. The girl has become rather restless of late and has taken to jumping up and down on teachers’ cars (and subsequently expelled from school). Whilst in the surgery, Delph has a go on the blood pressure machine, climbs on the consultation bed and then walks out. Alison asks what is wrong with her daughter and is annoyed that Doc Martin can find no medical illness or injury . He responds by saying that the girl is “very annoying”. Alison is worried that it is something more than being naughty and is desperate for Delph to pass her assessment with an educational psychologist, so that she can return to school.

Meanwhile, a new PC is assigned to the area and Doc Martin catches him asleep in his police car. The PC attends the surgery and falls asleep whilst talking – a classic case of narcolepsy, as a result of a kick in the head by a horse 2 years ago. The bored receptionist, Pauline, takes a bribe from the policeman to get his prescription for him (he thinks if he gets the prescription himself, that the villains will think he is soft).

Whilst in the surgery, Alison Lane spots a bottle of Ritalin on Pauline’s desk (intended for the policeman). In children with Attention Deficit Disorder, the drug has a calming effect but has the opposite effect for adults and adolescents.

Doc Martin spots Delph jumping up and down on a car and then on a trailer full of hay before falling head first through a glass door of a shop. The Doctor takes quick action and calls for Pauline to bring some medical supplies. Alison Lane later reveals that she gave her adolescent daughter Ritalin (causing her to be more hyperactive) and that she, herself was on diet pills (which Delph probably took as well and led to her being restless).

Doc Martin ends the programme with his usual brand of insult, telling Alison Lane that she needs to find an alternative method of weight loss. When she asks him, “Such as?” he replies , “keeping your mouth shut”. Classic television.

BBC to go back to the Manor Born

Possibly taking their cue from re-formed veteran rock outfits The Police and Led Zeppelin, the cast of classic sitcom To the Manor Born are reportedly set to get back together to film a Christmas special.

The show revolved around the life of fallen aristocrat Audrey Fforbes-Hamilton who is forced to give up her manor house to a rich businessman and move into a small cottage on the grounds.

As with the original TV show, which was aired between 1979 and 1981, the BBC brought the format back on Radio 2 in 1997 with Penelope Keith famously playing the haughty Audrey alongside Peter Bowles as the new-money Lord of the Manor Richard DeVere.

In addition, the location of Cricket St Thomas manor house in the village of Chard in Somerset is to be used for the filming location, though the BBC has yet to confirm any dates or plot details.

Keith first came to national fame playing Margo in another classic BBC sitcom, the Good Life alongside Felicity Kendal.

The Gardener’s Year

The Gardener’s Year is presented by well known horticulturist Alan Titchmarsh from his home and extensive gardens. The programme was a bit wrongly timed as Alan spoke about work to be done on the garden during July. He said that mid-July was the time of the year for relaxation in the garden and that there was a spectacular display of colour, but apart from wondering around with a glass of Pimms, there was little evidence of a rest for Alan.

During the Spring he had been growing tropical plants, including Dahlias, from seed and this was the time to plant them in the garden. Alan showed us how to take cuttings from geranium or pelargonium plants by stripping off all but the central leaves and trimming the plantling down. He explained that in order for the plant to survive, it had to grow roots, so we were treated to some theory on the growth of plants.

Alan also showed us to trim a Wisteria which was growing up a main wall outside his house and had spectacular blooms in May. We also learned how to water plants properly. In Summer, it is best to water the garden in the evening when it is not too hot, and soak the flowerbeds with water (many people use a sprinkler on the hose pipe and shoot water into the leaves of the plant, making it droop). He also conducted a mini experiment with three hanging baskets as they can suffer quite badly during the summer. One basket was watered regularly and received plant food, another was only watered when the soil dried out and the last one was watered regularly but not fed. Not surprisingly the second hanging basket did not fare too well and leaves turned yellow, died and some parts of the plant dried out. As time went on, the third basket started to look worse as it was not receiving food.

Alan Titchmarsh makes gardening look quite easy, but it was a pity that The Gardener’s Year was not more up to date in focussing on a September garden.

Gail finally susses David is not a perfect son

Coronation Street’s Gail Platt has put up with a lot from her son, David, over the years.

It even seems that she still feels the slightest bit of sympathy for the teenage tearaway despite showing him the door after his drugs stash left young Bethany fighting for her life in the local hospital.

However, even Gail won’t be able to recognise any redeeming features in him when his latest storyline comes to its chilling climax.

After learning that he has not been invited to the wedding of his sister Sarah and her boyfriend Jason, David – played by Jack P Shepherd – sneaks into the builder’s workplace and sabotages some scaffolding in an attempt to put off the nuptials permenantly.

David promptly confesses to the attempted-murder to his mother, though the police are unable to find enough evidence to secure a conviction.

“You’re so full of hatred – your eyes are burning with it,” Gail will tell him, a source close to the show told the Daily Star.

“I want to believe you’re not rotten to the core but I can see it in your face.”

While it is not yet known whether there will be a happy ending, what is certain is that 23-year old actress Tina O’Brien, who plays teenage mum Sarah, will be leaving towards the end of the year to seek fame and fortune away from the cobbled streets of Wetherfield.

Saxondale

Thursday night is definitely comedy night on BBC2. Sandwiched between Mock the Week and That Mitchell and Web look is Saxondale. This is a comedy programme written by Steve Coogan (better known as Alan Partridge or Pauline Calf) and Neil Maclennan, and is now in its second series. It follows the life of Tommy Saxondale, a former roadie who now drives a yellow Ford Mustang and lives in a suburban well-to do housing estate in Stevenage. He lives with this girlfriend Magz (Ruth Jones, Nessa of “Gavin and Stacey” and the Welsh barmaid in “Little Britain”) and runs a pest control company.

This is definitely not a programme for the feint hearted and the humour could be quite offensive as it features stereotypical characters. As with Alan Partridge, the humour is knowing the behaviour of the central character is not quite right. The programme has the shock car-crash humour of the Office.

Tonight’s episode started with Tommy in a group therapy session speaking about homosexuals in a non-PC manner. He then went on to have an argument with a ticket inspector (played by Mike off The Young Ones) at his local train station and called him a Nazi and refused to pay for his ticket. This led to a court appearance for Tommy where he defended himself and needed to obtain character witnesses.

The ticket inspector arrived in the court room accompanied by a walking stick and Tommy cross-examines him to find that he can indeed walk. He tells the jury that they should not be swayed by “stick-based impediments” He calls his star character witness – in the shape of “Keanu Reeves” who says the ticket inspector is mean . Tommy then assassinates his character by revealing that he is a rent boy!

If you can attune to the humour, this programme is a “grower”.

Cowell faces Rock Rivals agro

With this year’s X Factor hardly setting the nation’s pulses racing, the show’s boss Simon Cowell has been experiencing further grief on the set of his forthcoming ITV drama Rock Rivals.

In a case of art imitating life, the show tells the tale of a television talent show presided over by bickering judges.

However, filming in Dublin recently was brought to a halt after producers went off the character of Luke, a contestant who was penciled in to go all the way to the final.

The actor who played Luke was promptly axed, meaning a host of scenes had to be shot again.

“Following the viewing of early footage, ITV and the production team made a creative decision with regard to the part of Luke. We decided it was necessary to recast the role,” a spokesman for ITV told the Daily Mirror.

The good news for those viewers who are already waiting with baited breath for the new show is that TV megastars Michelle Collins and Sean Gallagher – last seen on Corronation Street – are still involved in the project.

Never Mind the Buzzcocks

Never Mind the Buzzcocks is a comedy quiz show about popular music. It has a host – Simon Amstell (but formerly presented by “fifties throwback”, Mark Lamarr and two teams of three. The programme has been running since 1996.

Tonight’s episode was a repeat and Simon Anstell started out by making a public but half-hearted apology to Preston and Chantelle. Preston had walked off the previous week’s show after Simon had read extracts of Chantelle’s autobiography in a mischievous fashion. Simon Anstell has a posh geeky appearance but a caustic wit.

The two teams for tonight were:

Bill Bailey (captain)
Romeo Stodart of group, Magic Numbers
Comedian Russell Howard

Phill Jupitus (captain)
Nick Hoult up and coming actor
Midge Ure

The programme has a regular format of rounds, starting with the Who did what?

Two videos were shown of Take That and Madonna with the question of “Who lobbied the government with a solution to World-wide nuclear waste?” Apparently it was Madonna who made the government aware of a magic Kabbalah fluid to clear up the waste (and was probably not taken seriously).

The next round was the Intros round where two of each team perform introductions to a song by making noises of guitars, drums , other instruments without singing, whilst the other team member tries to guess the tune and the artist. This is quite entertaining as the tunes performed rarely sound like the originals and Nick Hoult, the youngest of the team members had to be helped through. Nick is better known for his acting on “Skins” and it was revealed that Simon Anstell had co-written one of the episodes.

The next round was for the teams to identify an artist of yesteryear from a set of 5 people (some of whom bear no resemblance to the artist in question). This was an easy round for Phill’s team as candidate no.1 kept laughing and nodding whilst questions and comments were made about her former group, Cleopatra. Phill revealed that his usual method of identification is by examining footware.

The last round is where the teams have to identify the next lines of some lyrics. This is usually the point at which artists on the panels can not remember their own lyrics and this was true of Romeo Stodart. The in-joke for this round was that Midge Ure did not receive much credit for either Bandaid or Live 8, whilst Bob Geldolf had received a knighthood. Thus, most of the answers were related to Bob Geldolf.

Never Mind the Buzzcocks is one of those shows where you even look forward to seeing the repeats.

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