Al Murray’s Happy Hour

If you are a fan of Harry Hill’s style of comedy, then you will love Al Murray. In Al Murray’s Happy Hour, he appears as the chauvinistic and proud Brit, The Pub Landlord. He believes that Brits are superior to others with his catch phrases such as “”Where would we be if we did not have rules? France. Where would we be if we had too many rules? Germany.”

The programme follows a chat show format with guests and a guest band covering a Queen song (as the Landlord is a big fan). This week the guests were James Blunt (who was teased relentlessly for being “posh”), jungle lovebirds, Cerys Matthews and Marc Bannerman and landlady of the Queen Vic, Barbara Windsor.

James Blunt was a surprising guest as he demonstrated that he has a self deprecating style and has a deadpan sense of humour. He can also do a pretty mean impression of Carry On star, Kenneth Williams.

The Pub Landlord was a big fan of Barbara Windsor and had childhood fantasies of her bra flying off during the film, Carry on Camping. He decided that he and his guests would have their very own Carry On film, in which James Blunt said “Oooh I say” and Barbara bent down to pick up a dropped sausage. We were also treated to a great performance Cerys singing “Don’t Stop Me Now”, a song not quite in her vocal range, but she sang well and was joined by the Landlord.

The Pub Landlord’s style is to tease his guests rather than insult them and he did this when asking Cerys and Marc whether their romance was genuine or not. He also teased the audience (it is not advised to sit in the front row). Al Murray’s Happy Hour lives up to its name.

Cowell offers to help Britney sort her life out

After a bad year for the pop princess, Simon Cowell has offered to help Britney Spears get her life and singing career back on track.

Despite the 26-year old recently making the world’s papers for allegedly trying to kidnap her own children while under the influence of drugs, the X-Factor chief still believes that she can still resurrect status as a top pop star.

“It’s never too late,” Cowell told People magazine. “I think she’s the most searched artist on the internet at the moment, so she has a head start.”

“I genuinely think that if I sat down with Britney and, number one, remind her of all the good things in her life – which are her kids, her money, her success, everything – I’d try to give her a sense of perspective.”

The reality show mogul’s comments come just as X-Factor finalist Rhydian Jones has managed to land a £1 million record contract.

The 24-year old is reported to have been snapped up by Sony BMG.

Fairy Tales - Rapunzel

Charity Wakefield Rapunzel is the first programme from a series of modern twists on fairy tales. She is a British tennis star with long golden hair. She visits Russia (where she was born) and at a press conference says that she will never cut her hair as she is superstitious and thinks it would stop her winning.

Jimmy is a failing tennis player in Russia. At a drugs test, he discovers that he has a lower than normal level of testosterone and his father has the idea of making Jimmy a tennis champion by entering him in the women’s competition of the British Tennis Open. With a short red wig and plenty of make-up, Jimmy calls himself Martina and enters the competition. He is due to meet Rapunzel in the fourth round. Jimmy’s father is in debt and needs “Martina Stojkovic” to get to the quarter finals for the prize money.

Rapunzel has a very strict mother and is found by her in the toilets with a male competitor. Martina pretends that he is actually her boyfriend. She befriends Rapunzel and becomes her tennis training partner. She lives in an extremely large mansion which is patrolled by guards. As in the fairytale, Rapunzel sits by her bedroom window and lets her hair down in the hope that a man will get to the balcony and climb up her hair. She would then fall in love with him. Jimmy decides to give this a try by climbing the drainpipe to the balcony. He asks Rapunzel to let her hair down a bit more, she screams and he runs off, setting off the alarms. She tells Martina (Jimmy has managed to don the wig and get back to bed in the spare room) that the man she saw was a rapist. Rapunzel asks to sleep in Martina’s bid and admits that she wishes Martina were a man. The pair kiss and Rapunzel later admits she has feelings for Martina. Unfortunately, a photograph is taken by one of the commentators and Rapunzel’s mother is blackmailed.

Rapunzel’s mother grabs hold of her hair in a fight and Rapunzel cuts it to get free. After the scandal hits the press, Rapunzel and Martina play the 4th round tennis match. Rapunzel does not play her best tennis and allows Martina to win. At the interview after the match, Jimmy reveals that he is a man and receives an on-air punch from Rapunzel. There are further revelations when Jimmy’s rfther says that he was neither kidnapped nor heavy in debt.

The story ends 12 months later, with Jimmy at the top of his game. Rapunzel visits him and he admits that he is in love with her. All good fairytales have a happy ending.

Mumba may be too ill to dance on ice

Irish singing star Samantha Mumba may be forced to pull out of the forthcoming series of Dancing On Ice after falling ill at her London home.

Just prior to setting off to rehearsals for the ITV show, Mumba was struck down with flu-like symptoms and, according to reports, has since been placed on a drip to combat symptoms of dehydration.

A spokesman for the singer told the Mirror: “She is very sick but we are crossing our fingers that everything is OK.”

The news come soon after Hollyoaks star Chris Fountain injured himself in rehearsals ahead of the show’s Sunday launch.

In addition, Spice Girl Emma Bunton has announced that she is going to support Gareth Gates on the show, while fellow singer Will Young will also be along to cheer on his former Pop Idol rival.

Honest

Honest The first episode of the new drama series aired on ITV tonight. Honest is the story of the Carter family who are anything but honest and are used to living a life of crime. Amanda Redman as Lindsay Carter – mother to twins Taylor and Vincent (Vin), Kacie and Lianna .

The programme starts with Vincent Carter and his friend breaking into a Chinese house. Little did they know that the female resident was a karate expert and she practiced her moves on Vin (who was badly beaten). They had burgled Mr Hong and taken a family heirloom. Unfortunately, Vin had left his balaclava at those house, complete with nametag. Mr Hong had evidence for the police and was also well connected with the Triads. Mr Hong wanted the sculpture back but unfortunately Vin had sold it. When he got it back, he managed to drop it!

It is an important day for the Carters. Father Mack was up in court for stealing a car which was used as a getaway vehicle for a bank job. He was sentenced to 4 years in jail, It was also the day of Taylor’s graduation from law school. He was thought to be the only straight member of the family, but had lied at his interview. When told that the law firm were trying to increase their quota of minorities, he said that he was a Muslim.

Younger daughter Lianna had not been to school some time as she wanted to learn about the film business. She was blackmailing her deputy head mistress who had slept with her brother Taylor when he was 16. She had photographic evidence and threatened to send this to the Board of Governors unless she got what she wanted.

Kacie had delusions of being a model and thought she was the “next Naomi Campbell” only whiter. In need of money for promotion, she went to the Job Centre and asked for an advance. She handed over her portfolio to the official who was found photocopying and distributing her photos. She threw a stapler at him and was accused of assault.

Grandad’s house had burned down and went to live with the Carters. He had been trying to dispose of his house for a while and also tried to flood it!

After hearing Mack’s sentence, Lindsay decided that all of the family would go straight and earn their money. Lianna was sent back to school, Kacie started working in the local fish and chip shop and Vin had to do odd jobs for the Hongs. Honest has made a good start and looks to be an interesting series.

Neighbours

The devastated Parker family are by their daughter’s bedside as Bridget’s life hangs in the balance following last week’s road accident. After stabilising her following a seizure, doctors warn parents Steve and Miranda that every minute Bridget remains unconscious reduces the chance of her recovery. A devastated Susan, meanwhile, is still coming to terms with being responsible for the accident. Miranda is furious when Susan sends her flowers, and the next morning the Kennedy household become the victims of a sudden, unprovoked attack.

Elsewhere, Declan is being held in a caravan by Nick and Laura as the kidnap ordeal continues. Paul has already gone to the police, leaving Rebecca and Oliver frightened that Nick will be provoked into harming Declan. As Nick contacts Paul to outline his demands, will Paul give in?

Later in the week there’s news from the hospital where Bridget has come out of her coma. But Miranda’s joy over her daughter’s waking up quickly turns to despair. It appears Bridget isn’t out of the woods yet.

Hollyoaks

A row between Nancy and Sarah almost has tragic consequences for baby Charlie this week. When Nancy and Jake return from their romantic weekend away to criticism from Sarah, Nancy loses her temper and throws a drink in Sarah’s face. It looks as if it’s the end of their friendship, but just to make sure Jake confiscates the phone when he leaves for work so that Nancy can’t call her to make up. So when Charlie starts crying and then slips into unconsciousness, Nancy doesn’t even have a phone to call for help.

Mercedes offers to arrange an abortion for Tina. Later, Jacqui sees Dom and Tina holding hands and worries that Tina has chosen her marriage over her surrogacy.

Elsewhere, John Paul plucks up the courage to ask the Dog’s new barman Robin out, O.B. encourages Summer to audition for a touring theatre company, and Danny is stunned when Hannah asks him when he’s taking her out.

EastEnders

Bad boy Jay’s recent behaviour has left a lot to be desired. The formerly well-behaved youngster has been mixing with the wrong crowd, as this week’s visits to Albert Square go to show. Under pressure from his newfound ‘friends’, Jay steals Dot’s keys and causes mayhem in her house.

Roxy’s warnings to Ronnie about Jack have gone unheeded, but it looks as if she’s about to regret not listening to her sister. When she arrives at the club to find it locked, Ronnie tries to contact Jack but he ignores her. In desperation she borrows wire cutters from the local workmen and breaks in, only to find that Jack has hot footed it through the fire exit.

Elsewhere, Christian tries to inject some excitement into Jane’s life, and Dawn wants to launch her daughter’s modeling career.

Emmerdale

Delivering drugs for Eli was never Sam’s brightest idea. But giving a lift to policeman Ross while delivering his final package? That’s just stupid. When the nervous Sam’s erratic driving leads to a package of drugs falling out, Ross promptly arrests him for possession. A night in jail and the threat of a two-year prison sentence soon has Sam pointing the finger of guilt at Eli, and he isn’t the only one in trouble. Edna is mortified when the police search her house and find Lily’s cannabis stash, leading to yet another arrest.

Carl is incensed when Matthew goes over his head and cancels the order for new refuse trucks. Taking his troubles to Jimmy, Carl becomes frustrated that he too agrees with Matthew’s course of action. With his hands tied in the business Carl tries a new approach and apologises to Matthew for over stepping the mark. But is Carl content to merely tow the line?

Elsewhere, Mel and Jack share a tender moment while reminiscing over a box of photographs, but are embarrassed when Victoria bursts in on them. And at the Woolpack, Val is left fuming mad after trying to ease her anxiety over her forthcoming operation by smoking a cigarette. Donna reminds her that it’s against the law and stubs the cigarette out - only for Val to light up another. When Donna confiscates Val’s cigarettes she earns a thump for her troubles.

Coronation Street

The shock of Vera’s death continues to reverberate around the Street this week as friends and neighbours gather at No 9 to pay their respects. Jack is finding it difficult to come to terms with the loss of Vera, and Tyrone is worried that he’s avoiding all talk of a funeral. But when the grieving Jack does finally get around to making plans, there’s an important decision to make - should he invite Terry? After receiving a condolence card from his ne’er-do-well son, Jack decides Vera would have wanted him there. But will Terry actually show up?

A frantic Michelle rushes to the hospital after being told that son Ryan has been taken in after being involved in a road accident. Ryan has been on the missing list since learning that he may have been swapped at birth in a hospital mix-up. After getting into a fight with Alex - the boy he may have been swapped with - the duo have tumbled into the road and into the path of a car.

Elsewhere, Liam and Carla leave on their business trip - and discover that a mix up has seen only one room booked in the name of Mr and Mrs Connor. Maria is furious when she rings her husband-to-be only to be answered by Carla and told that he’s in the shower.

← Previous Page — Next Page →