Britain’s Next Top Model
This is very distinctly a poor man’s version of the US Top Model. I never thought i would say this but sometimes, watching Britain’s Next Top Model (Living TV, Mondays, 9pm), I think these girls make the Americans look, well classier.
There, I said it. Ugh. It’s so wrong, and yet so true.
Last night’s episode was a swiss roll of a bitch fest rolled up in some of the most toe curlingly, nail bitingly embarrassing moments that i’ve seen for a while. In order to explore the ‘drama’ of modelling, the girls had to improvise a scene where they had to tell their (guy) best friend that they loved them, and then snog them. In front of their parents. These scenes were excruciating to watch. Not only for the bad acting but for the self indulgent whining, and bizarrely serious approach the girls took. One of them, Rachael, decided to add some extra drama by adding in to her scene that she was dying of cancer. You’re not going for an Oscar, luv what’s with the death throes?
I want to tell you how it went after that but it was really hard to see what was going on with my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears while i sang la la la la la over and over again in an attempt to block out the hideously embarrassing performance that ensued. She cried and everything. Funnily enough, the best improviser of the lot was one of the nastier girls of the house, Stefanie. You could actually see her as the resident bad girl on Hollyoaks. Mainly though, she didn’t take it too seriously which by the time it was her turn was a blessed and unique relief.
To make matters worse this week’s photographer was the kind of endearing uber-w*nker that really believes in his craft. He really entertained me, not least because he had the girls shouting, crying, screaming, laughing and generally looking ridiculous in between moments where he would whisper some horrible thing about the girl all secretively to the camera crew ‘I just didn’t really, you know, connect with her right?’ (pats heart). You realise the girls will SEE you doing that on TV right?
Of course no series of BNTM would be complete without some sort of fight between friends, and sure enough this week brought about the two faced nastiness at its best with accusations of fakery and bitchery all over the place as Catherine started throwing her waif like weight around. For some reason she took it upon herself to tell the, ok very grating, Stefanie that she was a drama queen. Oh dear. Stefanie bore the accusations quite well, or like a wuss, depending on your point of view. I think she thanked Stefanie for telling her. Then offered everyone a cup of tea.
In the end though, its the booze, boobs and bitch fights that make us watch this show and this season, like every other, has its fair share. Easy Monday viewing.