Christina Aguilera Gets Naked in Film Debut! (We assume)
Even Popstars are having to get second jobs these days. As they slip down the Sunday Times Rich List, and start shopping at Poundland it seems the easiest option is to star in their own cinematic musical. Beyoncé cottoned on to this years ago – after all, that ghetto booty doesn’t pay for itself. Now that she’s got Dreamgirls and Cadillac Records under her belt, other sexy chaunteuses (sexy singing ladies) are bucking the trend – and who better to steal B’s thunder than the sweaty Chap-wearer herself, Christina Aguilera.
Ol’ Aggy seems to think that, the more famous she gets, the higher the percentage of exposed flesh she should jiggle for public amusement… sorry, titillation. Cue the announcement of her new film Burlesque which will see our girl basically recreating the video of Lady Marmalade, minus Pink et al, and stretching the corsetted, feathery action out for just under two hours.
Oh dear god, I cannot think of anything worse.
If anyone is going to make a burlesque movie, it should be Dita Von Teese, not Christina. However, Gretchen Moll has pretty much ruled that one out after making The Notorious Bettie Page. Still, I’m hoping that a studio will pick up Diablo Cody’s Candy Girl stripper chronicles and make that into a movie, paving the way for big screen Dita action. No need to thank me Hollywood, just pop the cheque in the mail.