Rubina Ali: Memoirs of a Slumdog
In cinematic terms it equates to the time it took to make the Lord of The Rings Trilogy three times over, or the time it will take for Horne and Corden’s careers to recover from the sh*tefest that was Lesbian Vampire Killers.
Yet, after nine eventful years on the planet, Rubina Ali is drafting her autobiography. Slumgirl Dreaming: My Journey To The Stars is to be released on July 16th, with all profits going to french charity Médecins du Monde and little Rubina herself.
Hang on just one cotton picking second there Ali? Nine years?! That’s hardly enough action to fill a paperback. No one has memories before the age of three, so that leaves just six years to work with. That’s not an autobiography, it’s the journal of a lucky pre-pubescent schoolgirl. Who does she think she is, Miley Cyrus?! Don’t do it Rubina, have some integrity!
After trying to sell his daughter, perhaps this is just Papa Ali’s new moneymaking scheme…