Shank Review: Kill Me Now

March 25, 2010 by  
Filed under - Home, Film Reviews


twit-patrolSHANK (15): On General Release Friday 26th March

Shank may be the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Indeed if there was any justice in the world, it would be incarcerated in concrete and dumped in the Atlantic Ocean with a warning label that reads: “Warning: poisonous cinematic waste”.

Director Mo Ali has taken some crap themes, crap actors and a crap script and somehow managed to create an unholy abomination that is much much worse that the sum of its parts.

In the dystopian future London of 2015, so-called “feral youth” has over spilled into the streets and the city is run by gang violence. One such gang is the Paperchaserz made up of sensible tough guy Rager, his younger brother Junior, and assorted delinquents Kickz, Craze and Sweet Boy. After Rager gets stabbed by a rival gang, Junior assumes control and begins a city-wide search for his brother’s killers.

The plot is paper-thin and goes nowhere. The gang performs tasks for one group after another ostensibly to gather information which will lead them to the gang they’re looking for, only to be told like Super Mario that their princess is in another castle; it’s repetitive, boring and derivative.

Every character is violent, misogynist or just plain irritating; they do nothing to endear themselves to the audience. Sweet Boy is particularly irritating – he’s the lover of the group and as such feels the need to strip half naked every time the camera’s on him and spout witless drivel – he’s the kind of character you’d like to uppercut on sight. Not that spouting witless drivel is confined to his character – there isn’t a poignant or intelligent line in the entire film.

Lines, styles and shots are plagiarised from other more successful movies which it’s clear Shank is trying to emulate – Lock Stock, Scarface, Kidulthood, Fish Tank – pretty much every urban or gangster drama ever made is ripped off and stuffed into the mix.

The filming itself is no better – it’s shot in a distracting choppy style mixed together with a bewildering collage of computer-game graphics and dream sequences which serve to make the film ugly and confusing. Whole sections seem to be an excuse to cut five minutes’ worth of music video into the film – something which adds nothing and just pads out the length.

Worse still, the film doesn’t have anything to say about the dystopian future which it portrays.

This charmless waste of celluloid is a teenager’s idea of good film: badly filmed, directed, written and acted. On top of this it sends out a reprehensible message by glorifying the worst aspects of thug life – drug use, violence and even dog-fighting (appallingly depicted with beat ‘em up style energy bars).

It also has a completely anti-climactic conclusion – a clichéd fight in a stairwell in which Junior gets the revenge he wanted all along without having to take any responsibility for his actions. The good guys win, everybody goes home and the audience demands its money back.

Making a film worse than this would actually be a challenge. Avoid it like the plague and don’t even think about seeing it, not even out of curiosity. I’d rather be shanked.

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  1. Swagger says:

    Well said. What were they thinking releasing such garbage. Acting was rubbish, plot was completely awful and what was the point having scenes where MC’s were rapping for the full length of the song. Argh the movie just sucked !

  2. Jack says:

    I know all the white girls and boys who think they are black, and blacks will go rushing to this film to be *cool* so it will sell alot.

    imo its a load of african tribe fighting SHIT

  3. Unamused says:

    Everyone who goes to see this should be rounded up and sterilised, that’ll guarantee a much brighter outlook for London 2015.

  4. Al says:

    I simply agree with everything you’ve said sir! This truly is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen and I don’t think I need to add anything else. A PERFECT-REVIEW. A TERRIBLE-MOVIE.

  5. london 2015 looks shit and boring says:

    firstly Jack, your a dick ”all the white girls and boys who think they are black…”, do you know how racist that is? your stereotyping black people as poor and thugs. so a black business man thinks hes white yeah? dickhead. Im from the not so good parts of london, and i saw this film hoping it would be something fresh and new BUT it just made people who live on council estates look like complete wankers. terrible acting that i even had to walk out the room when certain people started shouting to get the ‘gangs’ attention. it was embarressing to watch, script was horrible, countless times i found myself thinking ”where the fuck is this going? what the fuck just happened?”. 2015 looks fucking horrible, and if it turns out like this in real life i would certainly kill myself or get killed by the senseless acting and stupid fucking ‘tag’ names that end in Z. people if you are looking for a ‘half’ decent post-apocalyptic movie, see either I am Legend OR Doomsday. although I am Legend is actually a good movie. DONT watch this movie other wise prepare a noose to hang yourself with during or after the movie; if you would consider this shit heap a movie atall that is….THIS IS NO KIDULTHOOD OR ADULTHOOD!

  6. Jas says:

    Im sorry for my language but…mo ali…you complete WANKER. I want my money back..and my 1h28mins spent watching your bullshit movie. OMG!!! I cant believe how bored i was. I wanted to stop the film after 20 mins but i thought might aswell carry on, and have this as officialy the worst movie i have ever seen. You are talentless!! And so was the majority of actors in there. Some of them are good, i have no idea why they agreed to take part in this dogshit. And them mc’s are clearly people your trying to promote..complete wank!! And so are you mate..quit while your still behind. Dont bother making anything else ever again and wasting the publics time. Its the truth, you’re shit!!

  7. xino says:

    wtf are you talking about?
    this review sucks, why?

    because the movie was not aimed at you man.

    you’ll only understand if you live in London because it emulates the type of things the kids act nowadays.

    all the gangster movies released recently are all spot on: Kidulthood, Adulthood, Anuvahood, and Attack the Block.
    Because the acting, dialogue, settings, plot, theme are all authentic!

    tell me if this makes sense:
    if you watch nothing but romance movies, would you find martial arts movies entertaining? NO

  8. Jez Sands says:

    Hi Xino. “You’ll only understand if you live in London”. I do in fact live in London where I was born and raised, so it’s probably best not to make assumptions about the author.

    Even if the themes are authentic, there’s still the matter of the way in which its presented which I found dreadful.

    I for one, really enjoyed Attack The Block and it was on my shortlist for films of the year 2011.

    A film can be still be criticised no matter who it’s aimed at. And I tend to criticise films within their own genre – romantic comedies against other romantic comedies; dramas against other dramas. I’d go and watch Fishtank if you want a good film which tackles the alienation of British urban youth, not Shank.

  9. Jimbolite says:

    Hi guys
    I do not think that anyone here is talking rubbish. However sometimes we suffer selective perception, I do too I’m no different to you. So here’s my take on it :
    Badly done yes but did you see the price of an apple, the rich can only afford to eat, did you also see the price of litter in the gutter and did you not think it was strange that shot only lasted best part of one second. There is so much passing your eyes that you do not see,
    Wtc7+Axxo (YouTube)
    Arron Russo interview (YouTube). Illuminati+movies (YouTube) it’s there…. Look!
    Alex jones Internet radio show
    Please look at the bread your eating E472 contains mercury+lead all to see watch again

  10. Pepe P says:

    Granted that this film is utter rubbish in every sense of the word, I feel that perhaps on some level the degree of antipathy towards it manifest here, on IMDB and elsewhere is actually more representative of some form of conservative, white, middle class obscurantism.

    Perhaps all this has something to do with that little kernel of truth buried somewhere in this film, which indites the starkly irremediable institutional racism and classism that is held sacrosanct by the white middle classes.

  11. roger says:

    just saw this on the tv, i considered switching it off after about 15 mins of really trying to give it a chance. i would be really quite upset if i payed to see this turd of a film, tbh im a bit upset my licence fee has paid anything towards this absolute pile of dog shit. i finally had to switch it off after about 45 minutes because by that point i was cinsidering kicking the tv off the stand. i genuinely cant believe anyone could defend this shite, just shows the level of intelegence our youth have today.