Coming To A Cinema Near You: Jordan The Movie *Shudder*

February 2, 2011 by  
Filed under - Home, News

jordan300The world needs a biopic from Katie Price just like the Gulf of Mexico needed a million litres of poisonous oil dumped all over it, but like BP, Jordan has never let public opinion or personal integrity stand in the way of some serious cash.

Yes folks, according to reports in The Daily Star, a movie telling the story of Katie Price's life is in the works.

Apparently the former glamour model has even revealed that she has found someone to portray her in the film (Jodie Marsh anyone?), which she hopes will propel her to global fame - or infame, as is more likely to be the case.

The tabloid claims that Price will be holding 'advanced talks' when she attends the Oscars next month.

"I've got four autobiographies, well, they’re four diaries," the paper quotes her as saying. "I've found a producer and he's already got three of them - I'm giving him the other one and that's what they're doing."

"It could be a real ticket to global success and the big time. Her life reads like a fairytale and would make a great motion picture", said a Hollywood insider who presumably thinks the phrase 'motion picture' means: 'get rich scheme'.


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  1. Indignant dietician. says:

    Yea gods the world has finally gone completely mad! Why on earth would any sane person want to watch the biopic of a silicon enhanced dunderhead who flashed her tits to become infamous?!?

  2. john says:

    its never gonna happen

  3. Bailer says:

    @Indignant dietician: “flashed her tits” there’s your answer champ

  4. Ben says:

    “Her life reads like a fairytale”

    Remind me of the fairytale story where the Princess has breast implants and ends up getting divorced to two different Princes?

  5. Tim says:

    Pantomime storyboard:
    Selfish wannabee single mum reinvents herself with with implants to match her inflated ego.
    Marries decent chap blinded from her real persona by sight of her abundant assets in the jungle.
    Bride of Oz Rainforest wakes up when public seem to be more interested in him and throws tantrum.
    Gets divorced with now 3 kids and marries off-the-ropes fighter she thinks she can cage.
    Unfortunately, No 2 prefers cross dressing to cross words and makes her madder than a witch.
    Divorced again, this ‘B’ series grifter thinks she can hustle her way into an ‘A’ List seat.
    Sadly, Bimbo Brains fails to get that the world doesn’t only exist in Facebook.
    She invests her lingerie and perfume gains in a screen flop and fades into oblivion.
    “Oh, no she didn’t.”
    “Oh yes she did.”

  6. Stevieb says:

    Well just when is the next flight to Mars? maybe we can get her a free ride she wont be back to annoy us.

  7. ITs not England any more..what a pathetic country !!!