MI4: Ghost Protocol Trailer Review

November 1, 2011 by  
Filed under - Home, Trailers

So sofa-bothering midget Tom Cruise is back as Ethan Hunt this Christmas (and in need of a haircut) and we’ve cast our eyes over the new trailer to find out what it can teach us..

1. A computer programme which scans the globe and “uploads” satellites at the touch of a button? This has to be a film involving Tom Cruise. (0:11)

2. And here he is sporting a leather jacket, a menacing facial expression, a bad attitude and a camp arm gesture. Cruise and his luscious locks (this year courtesy of Just For Men) are evidently back to do serious damage to someone or something. (0:17)

3. But wait, take that Cruise. The rubber stamp of doom has stripped these undercover agents of their power. Are we talking loose cannons? Ex-government agents with an axe to grind? I sure hope so. Incidentally we make this the 1,257th time that Hunt has been disavowed. He can’t even turn on his phone without it happening..(0:42)

4. Cruise is clearly as horrified as we are by the prospect of a fourth instalment in the exhausted Mission Impossible franchise. (0:48)

5. But the team have lots of important colour co-ordinated suits to wear and far too many sunglasses to try on to hesitate another minute. First stop: a flashy glass fronted building with matching interior decor.(1:00)

6. Quirky king of British comedy and a man who is single-handedly rewriting the Hollywood casting rulebook, Simon Pegg, is making his MI debut. But judging by the trailer he could do with showing a little bit more interest in the whole action-packed affair. (1:21)

7. The cast go all out to keep Pegg interested, first staging an elaborate head-on car collision involving a close friend of the British actor. Can the American secret service not find their own staff? (1:39)

8. Cue more explosions and a rocket, containing Pegg’s pet cat Tiddles, which is then fired unceremoniously into the stratosphere. Paying attention now Pegg, you ungrateful get. (1:54)

9. Woah, now he is seriously riled. Taking aim at Cruise is the best idea he’s had since he ditched that ginger quasi-quiff circa 2001. (2:03)

10. Nobody disrespects the Cruise like that. A furious Tom smashes up his keyboard with his bare fist…perhaps because he has to save the earth from a deadly bomb, perhaps because he hates Pegg or perhaps because yet another reputable source has discredited the teachings of scientology. (2:29)

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Comments

  1. Jam says:

    I am sure you are very very well endowed and well built, that doesn’t mean that you go about criticizing people and their work. This way you will lose your audience my friend.